


Accidental OT3 Marriage

by There_Once_Was_A_Girl



Series: Random WIPs [9]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AU, AU: accidental marriage, Communication Failure, Fluffy, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, These idiots..., This could be either TOS or AOS honestly, Translation failures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-09-29 04:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20429435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/There_Once_Was_A_Girl/pseuds/There_Once_Was_A_Girl
Summary: When celebrating the admission of a new planet to the federation flaws in the universal translators result in Kirk, Spock, and Bones getting married without realizing it.Aka: Everyone should always listen to Uhura





	1. Chapter 1

Lieutenant Nyota Uhura had told the federation that they needed to update their universal translator on the details of the Haparan language, but no one listened to her. If they had listened then perhaps none of the events on Hapa would have happened. In a way she was glad for the delay in the language update but she suspected her Captain would prefer it if someone had done the job before his life had gotten quite so complicated. 

The Enterprise was on Hapa to sign some agreements and celebrate Hapa’s recent acceptance into the Federation. Almost the entire bridge crew was down on the planet. Scotty had the Command on the ship and was happy to be there rather than a part of the diplomatic mission. Kirk, Spock, Uhura, McCoy, and Sulu and Chekov were all on the planet’s surface though. Uhura was the only one who actually spoke Haparan, everyone else just carried universal translators. 

McCoy was just trying to enjoy himself. Everywhere he looked he saw groups of three Haparans splitting a certain kind of three lobed fruit he had never seen before. There was a full table specifically for the fruit amongst all the other food laid out in the gathering. He approached the table curiously and turned to a man nearby. 

“What is it you call this fruit?” he asked. “It seems special here.” The man answered in rapid Haparan which the translator took a second to process. 

“It is the Grala Apple, the national fruit of the Haparans. It is always shared between three people who are bound together by intense feelings,” 

“May I try one?” Bones asked. 

“Only if you have partners to share it with,” the man answered. “One cannot eat the Grala alone. It would be a great offense to our people.” 

“Thank you for the warning,” he said with a nod and a smile. 

“Are you so fortunate as to have… friends to share with?” his new acquaintance asked, the pause being the fault of his translator. Bones glanced up to see Spock and Jim chatting not far away. He smiled. 

“Yes, I am,” he agreed. He grabbed one of the fruits and headed in that direction. 

“Bones!” Jim greeted as he came up to them. 

“Jim, Spock, how are you doing?” he asked. 

“Well Doctor,” Spock answered. “How are you?” 

“Excellent, I just wanted to try one of these Grala apples, they’re the national fruit around here, but you’ve got to share them between three close friends. Apparently eating one alone is a social faux pas,” Bones answered with a smile. He held up the fruit.

“I’d love to try it,” Jim said. Bones grinned and carefully split the fruit, handing one of the sections to Jim, and offering the second to Spock. He kept the middle section for himself. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Spock said with a small nod. The fruit truly was delicious. They all enjoyed it and had just finished when one of the Haparan leaders came up to them.

“I see you’ve tried our, Grala Apples. Congratulations, I wasn’t aware of the nature of your relationship.” The woman, Talap, said with a smile. 

“What do you mean?” Jim asked. 

“I simply did not know that the three of you were… close friends,” she said the pause from the translator again. Bones was starting to get irritated by that. “Have the three of you had a celebration yet?” 

“Celebration? What of our friendship?” Jim asked. Their host laughed and nodded. 

“Such celebrations are not a tradition in either human or Vulcan cultures,” Spock said politely. 

“Oh! Well would you allow us to turn our feast tonight into a celebration for you three as well? It would be a great honor for us to be able to celebrate with you!” she said eagerly. 

Jim glanced at Bones and Spock inquisitively. Bones shrugged. He didn’t see why not, the Haparans seemed eager to enjoy such a celebration. Spock inclined his head in assent as well. Jim grinned. 

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” he said. “Your people are very kind.” 

“It is the least we can do, to show you how we celebrate such things,” she said. “Come, my partners and I will show you,” she added beckoning them along. 

“It would seem our hosts set great store in friendship,” Spock commented to Bones as they trailed along behind Jim and their host. 

“Apparently, just don’t make me regret giving that fruit to you instead of Sulu or something.” Bones teased. 

“I will endeavor not to,” Spock replied in the tone that meant he understood and was teasing back even though he would never admit it. Leonard grinned. 

Uhura would have warned the captain, doctor, and first officer if she had known. She really would have. Only she was on the other side of the room talking to a haparan scientist. She didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late, and then… well she didn’t realize that they didn’t know. Kirk and McCoy looked so happy sitting at the table of honor at the front of the feast hall, with Spock looking as he always did (but definitely not displeased). The Haparans were thrilled to be celebrating a bonding with their new allies. When given a chance to speak Kirk stood up with a grin, one hand clasped around McCoy’s shoulder. 

“It is an honor for us to be able to have this celebration here with you all,” he said. “Thank you for inviting us to do so. I always want more chances to celebrate these two and how much they mean to me. I know they prefer to keep things low key but I can’t think of a better time to forget about that than now, Cheers!” he lifted a glass in toast. 

Nyota couldn’t be blamed for just accepting it. After all she had always wondered, had always suspected that they might be involved with each other. The captain had as good as said that they kept their relationship a secret before and had decided to make it public at last. After all it was against Star Fleet Regulations for a Captain to date members of his crew, but not for him to be married to them. What better way for Spock, Leonard, and Jim to acknowledge their relationship than by getting married on Hapa. 

The Haparans were a race that always married in trios after all, and as they had just been formally admitted to the federation their marriages were legal by federation law. It was really elegant actually. Uhura had to assume it had been Spock’s plan. Kirk was a great captain but he lacked the finesse to plan something so delicately timed. She was really happy for them. They were good for each other as far as she was concerned, the three of them balanced each other out. The ceremony fit them perfectly in her opinion, with the priest’s lovely speech about the joys of finding companions who supported you, helped you, and the commitment of loyalty between three matched souls. It wasn’t a long drawn out ceremony like earth weddings. There were no vows or anything. To the Haparans the commitment was already made when they agreed to share the Grala apple, and the ceremony was primarily just a party, a celebration. The Haparans loved celebrating. They were very private when it came to romantic displays and such, but no one loved a good friendly party to celebrate a private matter in a public way as much as they did. 

Leonard is as a little surprised when the three Haparan leaders offered them an actual piece of paper with Haparan language scrawled over it. None of them could read it without a digital scan. 

“Just a formal document for our records, we’ll scan it and send you a copy, but it is a tradition here to have a physical copy for such events,” one of the leaders, a man named Paral, explained. 

“It has no complexities to it, just a statement of today's celebration. It only needs your signatures.” 

“Should we be signing something we cannot read?” Jim asked mostly teasing. 

“It says, in so many words, that a celebration of your bond was held on this date at this location hosted by the three of us, that is all.” Talap said with a smile. “It’s just a formality really, all our actual records are digital as yours are, the signing is just a part of the celebration.” 

“No problems then,” Bones said with a shrug, accepting the paper and fancy pen offered to sign his name in the place indicated with a grin. His friends followed suit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which these three idiots continue to be the most oblivious bastards in the world.

Jim Kirk was admittedly relieved to get back to the Enterprise the next day. The celebrations had been nice but he missed his ship. He always missed his ship. It was also a relief not to have to carry a universal translator around. The things had worked well enough but he envied Uhura’s ability to speak fluidly with the Haparans without one. He took the bridge back from Scotty and sat down in his chair with a happy sigh. 

“Captain, the Haparans have transmitted copies of all of the forms from our visit, would you like me to send any to you for review?” Uhura asked from her station. 

“Thank you lieutenant but no, I’ve seen them all, just make sure they are properly filed and that the proper versions of everything necessary are sent along to starfleet command,” he said. 

“Yes, Sir,” Uhura agreed though she sounded a bit surprised. 

“Something wrong?” he asked her. she had been acting a bit odd since the celebrations. She had congratulated him, Spock, and Bones like it was some kind of big deal that they had a Haparan friendship ceremony, and had been sneaking looks between the three of them ever since. 

“Not at all, Sir. Thank you for trusting me with things so important to you,” she answered. 

“It’s important to us all,” he remarked, because it was. Hapa was a wonderful addition to the federation, and their positioning and resources would be invaluable to the federation. 

“Of course,” Uhura agreed with a smile. 

Jim thought that was the end of that. He didn’t have much time to reflect on it anyway. The ship got caught up in an anomaly that almost tore them apart, less than a day after they left Hapa. Three days later the Enterprise limped into the nearest space station for repairs. He and Spock went to meet with Admiral Keller as soon as they disembarked. 

“Apologies for the unexpected repairs, Admiral,” Jim said with a small grimace. She waved a hand at him. 

“We send you out into unexplored space, it is bound to happen. I am just glad that you and your crew escaped heavy casualties,” she said. “Anyway, it gives you a chance to take some time off. You deserve it. Congratulations, go celebrate, and rest.” 

“Admiral what-” he started to ask what she was congratulating them for but was interrupted by a com alert from her desk. 

“I have to take this, my apologies,” she said, quickly waving them off. 

“Of course, thank you Admiral,” Kirk said before leaving the room. It didn’t take long for Bones to catch up with them. 

“Did you ask her for this?” he asked. Jim frowned. 

“Did I ask who for what?” he asked starting to get irritated by the lack of explanations people were giving him. 

“The Admiral gave you Spock, and I all a week of leave. I tried to check in at sickbay here and they sent me off with orders to enjoy myself,” Bones grumbled. Jim laughed and he saw the small quirk of Spock’s mouth that was the only sign he ever gave that he was amused. 

“I didn’t request it no, but I guess we don’t have a choice in the matter,” Kirk explained. “I for one am going to enjoy myself by going to my quarters and taking a nap, possibly for the next few months.” 

“While rest does seem to be in order I might advise against attempted hibernation, you neither have the physiological mechanism nor the body fat for it,” Spock remarked dryly. Jim and Bones both laughed at that. 

“Fine fine, I’m headed to my quarters too, where have you been assigned?” Bones asked. Jim glanced at the padd he hadn’t properly studied when it was handed to him. 

“Galaxy suite,” he read off, raising his eyebrows. “Wow, fancy, wonder what I did to make Admiral Keller so happy,” he mused. 

“Wait, that can’t be right,” Bones said, looking down at his own padd. “This says I’m there too.” 

“As does mine,” Spock added. 

“Well, I guess we should go check it out and see what is up,” Jim said, leading the way. “I expect it’s just a computer error,” he said as they reached the suite. Despite that, he was able to open the door easily and all of the personal belongings they brought off the Enterprise were waiting there for them. 

“Apparently not,” Spock observed. 

“I’ll call the station manager,” Jim said with a sigh going to the com panel. “Captain Kirk to Major Badlow.” 

“Major Badlow here, what can I do for you Captain?” came the reply a few seconds later. 

“There seems to be a mix up in assigning quarters, Doctor McCoy, Commander Spock, and myself all find ourselves in the Galaxy suite,” Kirk reported. The Major chuckled. 

“Oh, yes I know. No mix up Sir. It was the best we had to offer, so you’ve got it,” he replied. 

“Yes, but there are three of us,” Jim pointed out, feeling lost. 

“I know it’s not as big as some stations might have but it’s the biggest suite we have Sir, sorry about that,” Badlow answered, sounding a little bit put out. “Admiral Keller also asked me to let you know that you are most welcome to take a shuttle craft if you would prefer to spend your leave elsewhere.” 

“That is kind of her, but I am sure we will all be perfectly fine here. Thank you Major.” Jim answered, silently cursing everything before composing his face and turning back to his friends. 

“The station must be overcrowded with our entire crew disembarked,” he said when he did turn to look at Spock and Bones. 

Usually most of the crew would stay aboard the ship even during repairs, but there were some dangerous gas leaks that needed to be handled by specialist teams before the crew could go back aboard. It made sense that the unexpected influx of several hundred people would overwhelm station quarters limitations. Unfortunately that meant Jim had to share one large room and One large comfortable looking bed with the two people he had been in love with for years, the two people he could never have. 

“I am sure we will make do just fine,” Bones muttered in response to Jim’s declaration. He did his best to fix a casual smile on his face. “I don’t mind if you two don’t,” he added. 

“I take no issue with sharing the space,” Spock answered. Bones told himself he had to be imagining the slightly greener tinge in his cheeks and ears. “As long as neither of you mind the chance that I will pick up on a spare thoughts given my nature as a telepath. I will do my best to block it out, but it is only proper to warn you.” 

“If you don’t care about my weird dreams, Spock,” Jim said. “And it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve collapsed into the same bed as you after a long day, Bones,” he teased with a chuckle, kicking his boots off. 

“True, though we’re usually both drunk when that happens,” Bones said, forcing his thoughts about those nights and their exquisite torture out of his mind. 

“You want me to get drunk?” Jim teased. 

“Not at all, you snore when you’re drunk,” Bones said. “Spock and I need sleep too.” 

“Long couple of days,” Jim agreed with a grimace. “I’m just gonna take a quick shower then you can take over the bathroom,” he said quickly before ducking through the doorway into the bathroom.

Spock’s internal chronometer was without flaw, he knew this, so he knew that exactly thirty four minutes and ten seconds had passed between the moment they had all agreed to share the room and the moment he was faced with actually climbing into a bed with James Kirk and Leonard McCoy. Despite those facts, he felt like there had to have been some sort of time distortion that had flung him directly from the first moment to the second. He wasn’t ready. 

“I should be on one of the edges,” Jim said after exactly seven seconds of the three of them standing silently around the bed. “I wake up a lot during the night and usually have to get up for a bit before I can get back to sleep.” Jim had a long sleeved sleep shirt on as well as his full length pajama pants, which Spock knew was ordinary for him. The captain got cold easily for a human. The doctor on the other hand, who wore pants and a short sleeved shirt, had obviously gone out of his way to remain more clothed than usual. Spock knew from the experience of more than one late night emergency that Leonard never slept in more than his shorts. Spock silently thanked him for the concession. Spock was fairly certain that if the doctor was shirtless at his side, he would never get to sleep no matter how tired he was. Not that he did not have excellent self control, but of course, he was a touch telepath as well, and it would be rude, that was all, he reminded himself. 

“Perhaps it would be better if I rested on the sofa,” he offered, the words escaping his mouth too quickly. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Spock, you’re too tall for that. You’d wake up with more cricks in your neck and back than there are fleas on a stray dog,” Bones insisted. “If you think it’ll be too crowded I’ll take the couch.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Jim said from where he had sat down on one edge of the bed. “You complain about aches on a good day. Anyway there is no reason for anyone to sleep on the couch, it’s a huge bed. We’ll all fit just fine.” 

“Of course… perhaps I should sleep in the middle as I do not move much if at all when I sleep,” Spock said after a two second delay he shouldn’t have allowed himself.

“Sounds logical,” Leonard grumbled. “In you get, I am dead on my feet.”

Spock obediently climbed into the middle of the bed next to Jim, claiming a pillow for himself. Leonard followed him. Spock carefully positioned himself equidistant between the two of them, and laid on his back entirely still. 

“Goodnight, Spock, Goodnight Bones,” Jim muttered, face half smushed into his pillow. 

“Goodnight,” Spock answered.

“Night,” Leonard echoed. 

It took a very long time for all of them to get to sleep. 

Spock woke up in the morning pinned to the mattress by the two bodies. Jim was on one side of him clinging to his arm and Leonard was on the other side of him, his head resting on Spock’s chest. The doctor was a warm pleasant weight on his chest on one side and the captain was a matching warmth on his other side. Once he got past the initial spike of panic and too many emotions Spock could recognize that he was actually more comfortable than he could ever remember being. With the two of them pressed so close he could feel the warm drowsy contented emotions of his companions practically rolling off of them. Spock had gotten the amount of sleep he required but for the first time he could remember, he was reluctant to leave bed and start his day. He told himself that it was because it would disturb his friends if he tried to leave and humans needed more sleep than he did as half Vulcan. Spock silenced the mental voice scolding himself for indulging feelings he shouldn’t have, and closed his eyes. He drifted back to sleep easily, completely content.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These idiots find out that they're married. They take it.... okay....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kay y'all I am in my first semester of grad school so I am a mess, sorry

After three days of leave Jim Kirk was relieved to get a message from the Admiral asking him to take the Enterprise out on a mission. The repair teams had worked overtime to get the ship in better shape than ever in time for it. The Admiral apologized several times for cutting his leave short but he waved all apologies off. The truth was that after three nights sharing a bed with Spock and Bones, Jim would rather get into a hand to hand fight with a dozen of Klingons than spend more time on leave. He thought the tension of it all was going to snap him in half. 

The Enterprise rushed off to rescue a federation colony from natural disaster, and Kirk tried not to sigh in relief as he sat down in the captain’s chair and ordered the ship to warp. They were so busy with relief efforts that they didn’t find out about the other changes to the Enterprise until some time later. Jim had been taking cat naps in his ready room when he needed them, Spock had not slept either but reportedly meditated for a time in his office next to the science lab, and Bones hadn’t left sickbay since the whole thing started. He worked himself so hard that eventually Nurse Chapel turned up on the bridge to beg Jim for help. He called down to sick bay for her. 

“Bones go get some sleep that’s an order,” he told his friend. “Dr M’Benga can handle things for now. An exhausted doctor is a danger to his patients, you should know that.”

“Fine, but only because I’m too tired to disobey direct orders right now,” Bones answered with a tired chuckle. 

Jim thought that was the end of that problem right up until Bones showed up on the bridge several minutes later looking distinctly angry. 

“What did they do to the Enterprise?” he asked irritably. 

“What do you mean Bones? They fixed her.”

“Well they did a crap job, I can’t get into my own quarters!” Bones snapped. 

“Didn’t they let you know you’re quarters had been formally reassigned?” Uhura asked, making Jim and Bones both turn to stare at her. “I guess they must have just assumed you’d know.” 

“Why did they move me?” Bones asked her. “And how do you know this and I don’t?” 

“It’s standard Starfleet procedure to assign married crew members to the same quarters,” Uhura answered. “The Captain didn’t tell me to file a request not to have you or Commander Spock moved when he told me to send the appropriate paperwork to Star Fleet after the wedding.” 

“Jim, what is she talking about?” Bones growled from next to the Captain. Completely lost but all too aware of the entire bridge crew staring at them Jim stood up. 

“Spock, Bones, Uhura, let’s continue this in my ready room,” he said, waving a hand at all of them. Spock rose from his place at the science station to accompany them off the bridge. Once he was sure they were alone Jim turned to Uhura again.

“What in the universe are you talking about Lieutenant? What wedding?!” he demanded. She was starting to look as confused as he felt. 

“Your wedding, Sir. Is everything alright? Have you been injured? Memory wiped? Transported to an alternate universe?” Uhura asked. 

“First: I hate that none of those sound unreasonable. Second: he’s fine but I’m starting to worry about you.” Bones said to her, reaching for his medical tricorder. She shook her head. 

“I’m fine!” she insisted. “The three of you got married on Hapa a week ago, right? It was lovely, and I thought it was a very elegant gesture. You honored them as new members of the federation by celebrating such an important thing, and escaped more complex federation marriage ceremonies that might be difficult with three people.” 

“The event on Hapa was intended to be a marriage ceremony?” Spock asked, speaking up for the first time. 

“It was a marriage ceremony,” Uhura insisted quickly and then her face fell as what he said really sank in. “You didn’t know?!” she asked, aghast. 

“Of course we didn’t know!” Bones yelped. “Christ those stupid translators must have gotten a lot wrong!” He had turned a color that was almost like Spock blushing, a pallid green. 

Jim didn’t say anything. He was too shocked to say anything. He didn’t want to know what his own expression looked like. 

“But I saw you ask about the Grala apple before sharing it,” Uhura protested weakly. 

“They told me you had to share it between three people who were important to each other, I thought they meant close friends or something,” Bones explained. Uhura sighed, and Jim wished her expression of barely concealed amusement mixed with frustration wasn’t a familiar one.

“I told Star Fleet the translators needed updating,” she muttered under her breath. 

“Perhaps you could explain the details of what we have failed to understand over the past several days,” Spock suggested. He was also a pale green, though it was somewhat more normal for him. His voice was strained. 

“Well the Haparans always mate in threes, as you know. The Grala apple is only ever shared amongst these trios. Offering to split a Grala functions as a proposal, and the acceptance and eating of it is the same as vows. The ceremony afterward is just for public recognition and celebration. There is nothing particularly romantic to it because romantic feelings are very private to Haparans,” Uhura explained. “That might be part of why the translator ended up confused. I wonder what the best way to compensate for that sort of thing is,” she mused, looking down at a padd like she wanted to start doing research. 

“Uhura, concentrate. Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t anyone tell us?” Jim finally managed to speak up. 

“No one thought they had to tell you you were married. We all assumed you knew,” Uhura said. “I filed the marriage certificate with Star Fleet with all the other paperwork from our time on Hapa like the Captain told me to. He said he had seen all of the paperwork before and didn’t need to review it.”

“You believed that the three of us intended to get married despite any lack of previous romantic association?” Spock asked. 

“Well there are regulations against the captain dating any of his officers or crew members, so I assumed you had just kept your relationship quiet before then. Still it’s not like there weren't any clues. I’ve seen all of you together over the past few years, I’m not blind,” Uhura argued. “You cannot honestly tell me there’s nothing between you three.” 

“We certainly can, it’s the truth!” Bones snapped, voice still hysterical. 

“Let’s set that aside for a moment,” Jim said because he wasn’t ready to deal with it. “How did this move forward without any of us finding out?” 

“I don’t know. How did you not realize sooner?” Uhura demanded. “Admiral Keller gave you all a week of leave for your honeymoon and quartered all three of you together in the largest suite on the space station.” 

“We thought we were being asked to share due to overcrowding on the station,” Jim admitted, face going red. 

“Well it was over crowded and other people did have to share quarters,” Uhura admitted. “But you’re the three highest ranking officers on the ship. Besides, how did you ignore the leave and the fact that everyone kept congratulating you.” 

“We did good work on our last few missions,” Bones protested. “We deserved congratulations for that right?” 

“No offense Sirs, but you are the three biggest idiots I have ever met,” Uhura remarked. “You’re all geniuses in your own rights intellectually, but I swear deep inside each of you is a moron.” 

“Thank you, Lieutenant, that will be all for now, I think,” Jim said through gritted teeth. 

“Yes, Sir,” she said turning to go. 

“Oh, and Uhura? Please don’t tell anyone about this conversation. If anyone asks, Bones was just upset because I had the wrong paperwork filed or something,” JIm added quickly before she could go. 

“Yes, Sir,” she repeated with a smile before leaving the three of them alone. 

“Why did you ask the lieutenant to lie?” Spock asked. 

“Because this whole thing is embarrassing and I don’t want the crew finding out before we know what we’re going to do about it,” Jim said. 

“What are we going to do?” Bones asked. Spock used Jim’s desk computer to look up the details of what had changed due to their misunderstanding. 

“It would seem that for the time being we will have to continue to share space. They altered the Captain’s quarters and my own so that my quarters serve as extra sitting and recreation space while the Captain’s are a bedroom large enough for the three of us. They moved your possessions to the combined rooms and gave your quarters to Doctor M’Benga because his own were very small for a man of his rank, and they thought it best to have one of the ship’s doctors remaining in quarters directly next to sickbay,” Spock explained. 

“Oh great,” Bones groaned. 

“And as with all married Starfleet personnel the fact that we are married is noted in our personal files, so as to provide the condition that none of us shall be transferred away from the others without approval from us all,” Spock added. 

“Well, that’s something,” Jim said, perking up a bit. “I like the thought of them not being able to take either of you off this ship.” 

“So do I, but it’s only that way because we’re married!” Bones reminded him. “Shouldn’t we work on fixing that?” 

“Right, yeah, of course,” Kirk agreed ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest at the thought of actively working towards the two of them not being married to him. “We should get on that right away.” 

“We may not be able to,” Spock interjected. “That is to say it might be better to wait for a time. If we wanted to get divorced we could do that by filing paperwork but I prefer an annulment, and that requires an in-person hearing with a Star Fleet judge.”

“Oh,” was all Jim could say. Bones was nodding though. 

“Yeah, actually he’s right. I don’t want to divorce you either. I’ve been divorced once, I don’t want to do it again, especially since there are no actual hard feelings between us,” he said. 

“Okay, good, so we’ll wait and get it annulled,” Jim agreed. “When will we be able to do that?” he asked. Spock did some looking up. 

“I put in a request for a hearing with a judge when we stop at Sestris Three in four months,” Spock answered. 

“Four months?” Bones asked. 

“Yes, unfortunately our schedule is not particularly conducive to the process,” Spock answered. 

“Hey, we can get along with each other for four months right?” Jim said, trying to stay positive in the face of his own internal panic. “The question is, what do we tell the crew?” 

“I do not see why we have to tell them anything,” Spock said. 

“I know it’s not what he meant but whatever we say it’s not going to change much, at least if we don’t talk about it they won’t feel like they have an invitation to talk to us about it.” Bones admitted. 

“All right fine, we don’t talk about it and in four months it’ll be in the past,” Jim declared. “No big deal.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reactions to realizing they're married and random moments during their four months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sort of all over the place but whatever

.....“All right fine, we don’t talk about it and in four months it’ll be in the past,” Jim declared. “No big deal.”.....

Leonard McCoy wished there was a ‘biggest understatement of the century’ award so that he could nominate his Husband, James T Kirk, for it. “No big deal?!” Bones thought it had been bad enough sharing quarters with the two of them for three days on the station; now he was supposed to deal with it for four months.

He had no idea how he was supposed to handle it. Every time they slept all at once in the same bed Leonard ended up accidentally draped over Spock. The one night Bones had slept in the middle in an effort to stop squishing Spock he had found himself wrapped up in Jim. The embarrassment and repressed emotion together were going to kill him. Not to mention the fact that he was constantly overheating. He hated sleeping in pajamas. Still, he wasn’t going to be the one who protested. 

One day Leonard decided to take advantage of Jim and Spock still being on duty and went to the room to collapse into bed. They had replaced Jim’s old bunk with a huge bed, plenty big enough for the three of them to sleep in. He tried to ignore the thoughts in the back of his mind which were busy suggesting different activities that could happen in the bed. Leonard stripped down to his shorts and climbed into the bed, pulling only the sheet over himself. He must have been even more exhausted than he realized because he fell asleep quickly. 

Bones woke up only an hour or two later, as the mattress shifted. He blinked up blearily at the sight of Jim on one side and Spock on the other. 

“M’Benga ordered us both off to rest as well,” Jim told him when he saw Bones awake. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you. I’ll go put something on,” Bones muttered, starting to sit up. 

“You do not have to,” Spock said, surprising him. “You shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable for our sakes.” 

“He’s right, it’s going to be a while, we should get used to each other,” Jim agreed, looking red faced in the shadowy room in spite of himself. “Anyway you flail a lot and kick off all the covers when you wear your pajamas,” he added. 

Bones was still half asleep and didn’t have the presence of mind to protest any further. He just scooted into the center of the bed to make room for them and fell back asleep. He did away with the pajamas entirely after that day, and none of them said anything about it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spock was convinced by his ability to adjust to sharing quarters with Jim and Leonard that he had more of humanity in him than anyone suspected. It was such a human thing to be able to get used to almost anything. Spock found himself entirely accustomed to returning to the Captain’s room when he had to sleep and falling into a bed with one or both of his husbands depending on their shifts. Sometimes, of course he remained sitting on his meditation mat as they slept. Other times he meditated as they worked or read nearby. Once he would have been horrified at the mere idea of meditating in anything but perfect privacy, but he trusted his friends even more intensely than he loved them. After a few weeks of it he found that he actually found meditation easier when one or both of them were nearby. Something about listening to them breathing, knowing they were there, knowing they were safe and well, made it easier for him to meditate. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leonard McCoy was getting used to be married. He knew it wasn’t a real marriage, but sometimes it felt that way. He loved Jim and Spock, they lived together, slept in the same bed, ate meals together, spent their free time together. They had already spent most of their time together before their accidental marriage that was true, but it was different. There was something different about the quiet familiar routine of waking up in the morning with Spock carefully untangling himself from them, the way he always had a cup of coffee replicated just the way Bones liked it waiting for him when he actually hauled himself out of bed, the ease with which they got ready for the day around each other, never getting in each other’s way anymore. There was something new and special to the way they bickered about this and that, and Jim leaving clothes on the floor. He knew he was properly done for when they climbed into bed one night and Spock stretched his arm out so he could curl against his chest comfortably. It was how they always ended up sleeping but until that day they hadn’t acknowledged it and Spock had always started the nights he spent in their bed lying still and unaffected. None of them said anything about it, just quietly adjusted to the new normal where they curled up all tangled together every night automatically. Jim usually had an arm thrown over Spock’s waist, face tucked in to the gap by his neck. It was familiar, comfortable, the best thing in the world. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim Kirk was starting to lose sight of a lot of things the longer he spent technically married to the two loves of his life. He knew they weren’t really together, it was torturing him that they weren’t really together, but somehow he also managed to forget about it at times. He kept slipping up and forgetting to maintain some tiny level of professionalism that his position as as their captain mandated. He loved the both of them so much, and they were technically married, it was hard to keep his distance. It was hard to remember that they were only sharing his bed out of practicality when he saw Bones and Spock curled up together asleep waiting for him to come to bed. It was hard to remember that they didn’t feel the same way he did. It was hard constantly worrying he was taking advantage. All of it was stupidly impossibly hard. He tried not to think about it for the most part. Only sometimes that led to unfortunate conversations.

“Can I ask ye something?” Scotty asked one day as they shared a shuttle back to the ship one day. 

“Sure,” Jim answered, not thinking about it. 

“How did you know you wanted to be with Spock and McCoy for the rest of your life?” Scotty asked. 

“I don’t know really, I just love them both so much,” he answered automatically. “I spent a long time in denial but one day I realized I was never going to fall out of love with either of them. I’m never happier than when they’re around, even if we’re just all silently existing in the same space.”

“You’re lucky,” Scotty told him. “I’ve never felt that way about another person. Maybe about the Enterprise though,” he laughed. It took that long for Jim to truly understand what he had said, what he had admitted to. He sighed quietly to himself. 

“I am lucky,” he agreed, wishing he was as lucky as Scotty thought he was. He had been married to Bones and Spock for over two months, and he never wanted it to end.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actual Communication?! What?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this isn't perfect but it is what I have and it is the end so I hope you enjoy

When they got back to the Enterprise he headed back to their quarters on autopilot. It wasn’t until he got there that he remembered that Spock and Bones were both off duty. He came through the door to the sight of them asleep. Bones was bare-chested and curled against Spock’s chest as always. Spock had an arm wrapped around him comfortably, and they both looked perfectly content. They had both just gotten off long shifts; he could see the evidence of it on their faces and in the way their hair was scattered and messy, but it didn’t stop them from being the most beautiful people he had ever seen. 

James Kirk knew in that moment that he couldn’t get their marriage annulled without at least trying to tell them the truth. He loved them so much it was nearly painful, and he knew he would be in love with them for the rest of his life. Knowing he would never stop loving them made it all the harder to know he would be risking losing them forever by telling them the truth. The thought of it hurt so badly that his knees went weak. He sat down in his chair, facing the bed, and let himself cry with fear and sorrow and everything else he had been shoving down for too long. 

He cried himself out relatively quickly but didn’t move after that. He just stayed where he was and watched the loves of his life sleep for a while. It was probably creepy but he didn’t care. He lost track of how long he had been sitting there when Spock’s voice made him jump. 

“Is something wrong Jim?” he asked in a whisper. 

“I- why do you ask?” Kirk asked.

“I could sense your distress from across the room and in my sleep,” Spock told him. 

“So could I and I’m not even a telepath,” Bones muttered sleepily. “What is wrong with you, Jimmy?” 

“You calling me Jimmy,” Kirk said.

“Come here,” Bones beckoned actually sitting up a little. “Talk to us,” 

“Bones,” Jim said with a sigh. “I don’t know if talking about this right now is the best plan,” he said, but he went to sit on the edge of the bed anyway. Spock and Bones had both pulled themselves up into sitting positions. 

“What makes you say that?” Spock asked. “Do you truly believe that another time would be better for this discussion, or are you simply scared of the discussion itself?” 

“I- that’s not fair,” Jim protested. 

“It was a question, I don't think fairness applies," Spock answered. 

"You're impossible," 

"Just, please tell us what's wrong, Jim," Spock said in what might be called an affectionate tone for a Vulcan. 

"Fine, fine, you want to know what's wrong? I'm scared," Jim said when they just kept watching him. 

"Of what?" Bones asked. To his surprise Spock did not say anything about the illogical nature of fear. Jim took a deep breath. 

"Right, just let me get this all out before you say anything," he prefaced. They both nodded and he tried not to grimace. 

"I am afraid of losing you two," he said at last. "I had a chat with Scotty earlier and it made me think some things over and the fact of the matter is that I don't want to annul our marriage,” he admitted and then took a deep breath before continuing. 

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been honest with you before but I'm irrevocably in love with the both of you. I've been trying to deny it but I cannot do that anymore, and I realized that I couldn't go through with getting our marriage annulled without at least telling you first. That realization scares the living hell out of me because it could mean losing you as my friends and crewmembers as well. I do want you to know that I will never pressure you in any way or so much as bring it up again if you say no here and now. Still, I understand if knowing that I have feelings for you makes either of you uncomfortable and you wish to change our, circumstances." He was staring down at his hands by the end of his speech, terrified to look up. 

"Well, that certainly could simplify things," Spock commented after a silence that felt like an eternity. Jim looked up at him, Bones was staring at the Vulcan as well. 

"How in the hell does that simplify things?" The captain managed to demand. 

"I have been deeply in love with you and Leonard for some time now, and though our marriage was accidental I have understood from the beginning that I will always view the two of you as my spouses. Even if we were to be separated legally, I would and will never love anyone else," Spock answered. "So if the doctor feels similarly, then our situation has gone from very complicated to considerably simple." Jim and Spock both turned to Bones who was staring back in stunned disbelief. After too long of a silence Jim cleared his throat.

"You've got two confessions of undying love over here… no pressure but it would be great if you had some sort of response," he prompted. He still hadn’t fully processing what Spock had said but he wasn’t sure how to do it.

"I- I thought everyone on this damn ship knew I was in love with you two, I just figured you didn't mention because you were being polite. I mean you've got each other and you're both so damn beautiful and brilliant, and I'm just an old country doctor I-" 

"You are brilliant and handsome and funny and the most highly decorated physician in starfleet," Jim interrupted. 

"And I am older than you," Spock pointed out. 

"You're a Vulcan, proportionally you are much younger given that you'll outlive us both by a century," Bones protested. 

"And every year spent without you will be a heavy weight upon my heart," Spock answered. “But that is hardly the point, Leonard.” Bones went red and turned to Jim instead. 

"I- What- What do we do now?” he stammered. 

“I don't know!" James T Kirk would go to his grave swearing he did not 'squeak' those words, but he couldn't tell you a better word for it either. "I mean, I'm your captain, I shouldn't really be involved with either of you at all. I don't want to take advantage, and-" he was cut off by Spock taking his hand and pulling him into what was simultaneously a human and Vulcan kiss. 

Jim had never let himself truly contemplate what kissing Spock would be like but if you had asked him to guess he might have suspected something methodical. He would have been wrong. Spock kissed ferociously, hungrily. Jim felt the echo of Spock's love and desire for him through the minor connection formed in a Vulcan kiss. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. He kissed back with everything he had, wrapping his arms tight around Spock's shoulders half to pull him close and half to stop his newly jellified legs from giving out on him. A distant part of his brain, the part that was a scientist, noticed that Spock tasted different than anyone he had ever kissed before as well. When Spock finally pulled away from him, after what he assumed was several seconds though he could not be absolutely certain how much time had passed, Jim whined in spite of himself. 

"You are our husband, do not be foolish," Spock said gently. “You do not have to worry about your position as captain or anything else.”

“Spock is right,” Bones said, pulling Jim away from Spock a little bit, turning him, "You're cute when you're panicky, but you don't have to worry. We love you." 

And then Bones was kissing him and Jim was pretty sure he was going to die. Kissing Bones reminded him of stepping onto the bridge of the Enterprise, thrilling and comforting at the same time. Leonard McCoy kissed like the southern gentleman he was, slow and sensuous and sweet, like molasses. As soon as he had the thought Kirk was fairly sure it made no sense, but it was true nonetheless. Jim melted into the kiss. Bones pressed him back against Spock’s chest, which was warm and solid behind him.

“I have wanted to do that for years,” Bones told him when he pulled back. “You cannot know how badly.” 

“I know,” Jim promised. “Trust me I do.”

“Leonard?” Spock murmured, practically sounding like he was purring, “May I kiss you?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Bones answered. They kissed over Jim’s shoulder, with him still sandwiched between them. They were the most wonderful thing he had ever witnessed. 

“Is anyone on duty soon?” he asked once they weren’t quite as distracted.

“I start my next shift in three hours,” Spock answered. “Leonard in four.” 

“Good,” Jim told the computer to lock the doors and leave them undisturbed unless there was a serious emergency. Then he dragged his husbands into their bed. 

~~

Jim called Uhura into his ready room the next day. He had done everything he could to cover up the bite marks on his neck but one of them was still slightly visible above his high collared shirt. Everyone else had enough tact not to stare or say anything about it but as soon as Uhura came into the room her eyes went straight to it and she grinned. 

“So, how’s the marriage?” she asked. 

“We’re together now. Don’t gloat. Actually, don’t say anything. Just figured I should notify you that our marriage, though accidental, is genuine and not going to be changing, so just. If you could not ever tell anyone that it was an accident, ever… Can you do that?” he asked. 

Uhura didn’t respond, just continued grinning at him. He sighed. 

“You can say something to answer me,” he said. 

“I won’t tell anyone,” she said. “And congratulations, Captain.” 

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” he told her. “Dismissed.” 

“Yes, Sir.” She winked at him before turning to leave and he sighed. She was going to be insufferably smug about it for the rest of eternity. He couldn’t bring himself to care all that much, he was too happy for that. He did however, put in a good word with Star Fleet regarding her petition to improve translation between English and the Haparan language.


End file.
